I am sorry…

*I apologize for upsetting my roommates, I understand that my words may have hurt you. I may not understand why but your reasoning should be irrelevant. I am not going to take this post down as I am trying to keep this blog as an honest depiction of my life as someone with mental disorders but I do recognize your anger.*

My living situation at the moment is very toxic and verbally/emotionally abusive. I have been given the opportunity to move to a different building (I live in residence). The only problem is that I have so much stuff that would be a hassle to move and organize in another residence room. I don’t want to make anyone else’s life difficult so I am thinking about just living here and taking the “abuse”. I know I should move buildings but I don’t know if the next situation will be any better or even worse than the one I’m in already. I hate decisions!

Difficulty with routines!

Does anyone else need routines to function as a normal human but is terrible with actually following through with the created routines. It only takes me one missed day of a routine or habit to get out of the habit and I have to make it a habit all over again. The most frustrating part is that I know that I need habits/routines to function but I always end up messing them up.

Self-esteem/self-confidence?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get self-esteem and/or self-confidence? I know that I need to improve my self-esteem and self-confidence but I am terrified of thinking that I am a great person when I might not actually be that great.

Any advice or tips are highly appreciated.

Hyper vigilant about people gossiping?

I’ve been told recently that I have a hyper vigilant brain but personally I think it is mainly focused on others opinions on me. I always think that my friends/family/roommates/anyone really, is super mad/frustrated/annoyed/angry with me even if there is absolutely no proof for this thinking. I then feel like they are getting even more frustrated with me when I ask whether they are mad at me or not. I always feel like people are just pretending to be my friend and like me even if there is no logical proof of this. I hate feeling like this because I feel so weak and pathetic and frustrated with myself for not simply accepting the fact that people might actually like hanging out with me.

Dumb empath?

I know that I am an “empath”/”highly sensitive person” but I am completely unable to figure out if I am causing someone to be frustrated or not. I always feel like anytime I feel someone’s anger/annoyance/frustration, that I immediately think that I am the cause of them feeling this way.

Does anyone else feel like this, what’s y’all’s opinions?