Difficulty with routines!

Does anyone else need routines to function as a normal human but is terrible with actually following through with the created routines. It only takes me one missed day of a routine or habit to get out of the habit and I have to make it a habit all over again. The most frustrating part is that I know that I need habits/routines to function but I always end up messing them up.

Self-esteem/self-confidence?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get self-esteem and/or self-confidence? I know that I need to improve my self-esteem and self-confidence but I am terrified of thinking that I am a great person when I might not actually be that great.

Any advice or tips are highly appreciated.

Hyper vigilant about people gossiping?

I’ve been told recently that I have a hyper vigilant brain but personally I think it is mainly focused on others opinions on me. I always think that my friends/family/roommates/anyone really, is super mad/frustrated/annoyed/angry with me even if there is absolutely no proof for this thinking. I then feel like they are getting even more frustrated with me when I ask whether they are mad at me or not. I always feel like people are just pretending to be my friend and like me even if there is no logical proof of this. I hate feeling like this because I feel so weak and pathetic and frustrated with myself for not simply accepting the fact that people might actually like hanging out with me.

Dumb empath?

I know that I am an “empath”/”highly sensitive person” but I am completely unable to figure out if I am causing someone to be frustrated or not. I always feel like anytime I feel someone’s anger/annoyance/frustration, that I immediately think that I am the cause of them feeling this way.

Does anyone else feel like this, what’s y’all’s opinions?

ADHD?

I got screened for ADHD and I scored fairly high on the inattentive portion. Looking back, I can definitely see aspects of myself that could totally be explained by having ADHD. I have always been labeled as lazy and called myself lazy because it was so hard for me to start or finish anything. I have pretty much lost everything that I own at least once, and I lose hours of time because I become super focused on any task.

Paranoid

I am such a paranoid person, granted, my dad is military so some of it comes from him.

I am very aware of my security because of my father which I believe is a great thing. The paranoia that I believe is detrimental to me is the fact that I believe everyone is talking behind my back and is only being my friend because they feel bad for me or they want something from me.

What I call my “touch anxiety”

From the outside I seem like a very reserved individual who really does not like being touched. I shy away from people touching me or hugging me. The reality is actually that I would love to hug my friends and tell them that I love them because I definitely do. I love my friends with my whole heart but I always feel like I am not able to tell them. I am an extremely emotional person and I feel like my friends would just be annoyed by this fact. I think that if I was given the opportunity, I would be a very touchy person. Anytime anybody hugs me or sits close to me I feel the obligation to move away because I assume that they want me to move away. I have no idea when this started or why it started.

Bored but stressed

There are some days that I have so much stuff to do that I end up laying in bed all day on my computer extremely bored. This makes absolutely no sense because if I have stuff to do then how am I so bored. It’s almost like I have so much too do that I just malfunction and shut down. While I lay on my bed on my computer, I also stress about the tasks that I am needing to complete that day. Hence, bored but stressed.

Anxiety around pain meds and my health in general

Obviously I have multiple problems with anxiety, one part of my life that my anxiety affects is my physical health. I go full days with terrible headaches without taking any pain medication even though I am fully able to take some. I do this because I always believe that I am just making up the pain.

I also feel the need to go to the doctor’s office all of the time simply to confirm my belief that I am actually sick or actually in pain as I never really trust my own brain.